It is so easy for us to focus on ourselves, to make decisions that favor our own future over someone else’s. We’re taught to look out for Number One. But that mindset differs from what God’s Word teaches.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
I experienced this over the past three weeks when my husband, John, and I visited my longtime friend, Ronda, at her new home in Japan. Traveling internationally is not for the faint of heart, but John, God love him, is a master of planning.
He researched the best prices on flights and made sure we had enough time on our layovers to not worry about making our connecting flight. He researched different things to do in Tokyo, which is where we stayed for the first nine days of the trip. He made sure our hotel was close to the train station, so we’d have a short final leg of the trip once we arrived at 2:00 a.m. He looked up gardens to visit, and museums to wander through. We climbed a mountain (well, that sounds more dramatic than it was—there was a paved sidewalk to hike up), and visited Nara, the town overrun with tame deer. We 
visited Kyoto, the place described as the most beautiful in the world when the cherry blossoms bloom.
We learned how to use the public transportation system, using the subways, the buses, and the bullet trains. When I say “we,” I mean John and Ronda. I mostly stood around and waited for someone to tell me where to go. In fact, that’s how the entire trip went for me.
I did no research, no planning, and placed no reservations. I got to travel completely worry-free and simply enjoy myself. I felt a little guilty about it, to tell the truth. But John is a planner, and he enjoys it. So I let him. Gratefully.
He left a week before I did, and so I wouldn’t worry about traveling home by myself, he videoed every step of his trip back, giving me a running commentary of what to do and where to go each step of the way. Y’all, I’m spoiled.
He made me feel so special, so loved.
When we choose to serve someone else, when we choose their comfort and well-being over ours, we are doing as Christ taught us to do. He also teaches us there will be a reward, that the last will be first. But this teaching is completely counter to what our culture shows us. We’re taught if we don’t look out for ourselves, no one else will.
I use a weekly planner designed by a friend, Joy Massenburge. There is a space on the page that asks me to list three different people I will bring value to that week. Thinking of it that way, bringing value instead of serving, focuses more on how to give to someone I love, rather than on my burden to serve. I like that question. Each week, I take the time to deliberately consider who I can make feel valued and loved. I’m grateful for that little box. It reminds me to be kind.
Serving others brings us happiness. God knows this. We can trust that his guidance and instruction will show us how to live so we can enjoy our very best life. I challenge you to set up a reminder for yourself that, once a week, will prompt you to think, “Who will I bring value to this week?”
In book two of my San Antonio series, A Father’s Gift, Abby is pregnant and grows more worried as the time draws closer for the baby to come. She learns her grandmother-in-law, Yaideli, is planning to travel south to Mexico for a funeral, leaving her behind. All she can think of is her own fear about what will happen if her labor starts while Yaideli is gone. It takes seeing her grandmother’s tears for her to recognize Yaideli is grieving, and Abby is being selfish. The realization hits her like a slap in the face and forces her to acknowledge her ungrateful spirit. It also forces her to turn to God for reassurance.
I imagine God wants our service to come from a giving heart, but I also think he’ll take whatever situation arises if it brings us to his feet.
Pray that God will make clear your paths and watch for those instances to serve someone else. The opportunities will bless you, I promise.
