I love my husband. We have been married for twenty-three years. We have three fabulous boys who I adore with all my heart. I’m so thankful God blessed me with my family. I prayed and prayed for a man like my guy. One who is loving, patient, kind, funny, musical, loves Jesus, family oriented. And He certainly answered my prayer with my husband!
But it wasn’t always so grand and wonderful. The first ten years of our marriage were difficult. Oh, don’t get me wrong. We had great times in that decade, but sometimes, the bad outweighed the good. I’d wake up and think, “What did I do?” and he’d wake up and think, “How can I get through this?”
Chris and I fought, and we didn’t fight well. We both loved Jesus (and still do), but our marriage wasn’t one I was very proud of. I kept thinking there had to be more. I wondered why he married me when I felt like I failed him at every turn, and he wondered why I married him when I couldn’t let go of the past.
It was tough with a capital T. I didn’t know how we were going to get through our hard times, or even if we would get through them. I didn’t confide in many people, and neither did he. We felt alone and sinking. We had three boys during our difficult decade, but we were committed to making our marriage work. How many times did I think, “Fake it till we make it”? I can’t even tell you.
Finally, after our 10th anniversary, we had just moved to another state. We had gotten into another argument, and I brought up the past and all my hurt and his. I remember the day so clearly. Chris, with hurt and despair in his eyes, looked at me and said he couldn’t do it anymore.
I waited with bated breath for him to finish his thought. “Joi, we must let go of the past if we want to make our marriage work. We have to start over.”
I knew he was right. We couldn’t keep going round and round in this vicious circle, expecting things to change. We had to get out of our trap of hurting one another.
So, we did. We started over. I don’t know if it was the Holy Spirit saying it was time to let it go or what. All I know is, I finally felt free.
Since that day, we’ve not brought up the pain of the past. Instead, we look at the trials we’ve overcome, grateful that we didn’t just fake it till we made it, but that we truly chose to love one another.
Because love is a choice. A daily choice. He has to choose to love me and all of my faults (there are many), and I have to choose to love him when I’m annoyed he didn’t do something he said he would do.
Love holds no record of wrongs. Hm. I do believe that’s somewhere in the Bible (Kidding. I know it’s the love chapter in 1 Corinthians).
This is why I wrote A Match for Monty. He had to overcome his fears in order to find love. What about you? Do you ever feel like you can’t love someone anymore? If so, you’re not alone. But can I encourage you to keep on keeping on? Choose love. Because if Chris and I didn’t choose to love one another and let go of our hurt and pain, we wouldn’t have the strong marriage we do now.
Aspen Lockwood spends her days helping her family on their ranch in Colorado. With five younger brothers and sisters, she runs herself ragged, taking care of them and doing anything her parents require of her. She longs to have a family and ranch of her own and responds to a matchmaker’s advertisement. When Aspen gets a letter stating Agatha finds a man who meets her criteria, excitement bubbles through her as she tells her mother the good news, only to have her hopes dashed and an ultimatum placed before her.
Montgomery Underhill loves his life in the growing town of Great River, Montana Territory. Running a lumber mill and helping out the town, his days are filled to the brim, but coming home to an empty house every night wears on him. Monty finally writes to the matchmaker he’s heard so much about from people in town.
When the matchmaker pairs him with a woman, he can hardly believe it. Monty’s not an easy person to love, and suddenly he finds himself tied to a lady he doesn’t know. Monty and Aspen are complete opposites. Is love even a possibility?
Joi Copeland is an award-winning author. She has written over thirty books and desires to share her love of hope and redemption through each story she pens. Joi and her incredible husband of over twenty-three years have three fabulous boys and currently live in Ireland. She is passionate about Jesus, Bible study, and the people of Ireland.