Have you ever said yes to something you later regretted? Even if it was something you enjoyed? I have. I coached the swim team for seven years at the high school where I taught, a job I loved but which took over my life. Plus, I was totally unqualified. But they needed me. I told the high school soccer coach I would be his booster club president. Absolutely didn’t have the time. But he needed me. Why do we let ourselves get roped into things? Are we afraid we’ll hurt someone’s feelings? Let someone down?
I picked my nine-year-old granddaughter up from class early this week to take her to the dentist and asked her about school. She said it was going well, but she was having a minor “boy” problem.
That grabbed my attention in a hurry. I asked her to explain.
KD: Jeremy (I changed names to protect the innocent) has a crush on me.
Me: (remembering my fifth-grade crush, Carey) Ah, that’s nice. Do you like him back?
KD: Not really, but I did last year.
Me: Why don’t you like him this year?
KD: He’s not a nice boy anymore. He’s rude to the teacher, and he interrupts her.
Me: (internally cheering that she thinks this is bad—I had my fill of not-nice boys [and girls] during the nineteen years I taught high school) You’re right. That’s not good at all. So, what’s the problem?
KD: (looks out the window) When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I stammered and accidentally said yes.
I like that description. I have stammered and accidentally said yes more times than I care to admit. How can we learn to say no? Especially when what we’re being asked to do is important and good?
I like the guidance in this verse. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Pr. 3:5‑6
We all have things we’re good at doing. Things God has gifted us to do. These are the talents we didn’t ask for, but we have. Skills we don’t necessarily practice but are naturally good at. How can we reserve our time and efforts for these areas of strength where we are most effective?
I want to turn those decisions over to God and let him guide me to where I can do right by him. Give him my schedule and let go. I don’t want to promise myself away to the little things and discover I’m so busy handling minute details I can’t shine in my gifted area.
So before you say your next yes—whether you stammer and accidentally say it, or say it with confidence and gusto—pray and ask God to bring clarity about what your gifts are. Leave room to walk in your strengths.
My friend Danniel Campbell shared with me a few weeks ago something from his latest book. He wrote, “Empower me, LORD, to do You proud.”
That’s what I want, above all else. To make God proud. And sometimes that might mean I say no to someone. But that’s okay, because I’d rather say yes to God and work wonders than say yes to the world and struggle.
One thing I want to carve out time for is writing. I write Christian fiction in the historical and contemporary romance genres. Accepted, book three in my San Antonio series, went live on October 24. In Accepted, my main character Quenby struggles to find her purpose in a male-dominated world. God reveals it to her, but she must learn to trust him when danger rears its head. I’d love for you to read it and let me know what you think.
And follow me on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. You may subscribe to my blog at paulapeckham.com.
Author/Book spotlight questions:
- What is your favorite vacation spot? My husband and I decided we would travel to Italy for our fifth wedding anniversary. Life happened, and the trip did not. It was actually year fifteen before we made the trip. And it was amazing. I loved the people, and the food, and the European flavor of the towns, and the amazing doors, and just everything about it. We definitely want to go back. Maybe for year thirty.
- What can your readers expect from you next? Depending on whether you prefer historical romances or contemporary, I’ll hopefully be able to offer you a choice. I’m working on a contemporary right now, taking a novella I wrote for one of my Christmas anthologies and turning it into a full-length novel. I’m also doing research for book four in my San Antonio series, which will feature Grady, one of the characters originally introduced in Protected, book one, and Natalie/Naomi (haven’t quite decided on her name yet) who was kidnapped by the Comanche when she was seven. I’ve LOVED doing the research and have learned so much. I can’t wait to share it with everyone else.
- What can readers who enjoy your book do to help make it successful? Word-of-mouth is, by far, the most effective method of marketing for authors. If you enjoy my books, tell your friends, post about it on your social media, and leave reviews on sites like Amazon, Goodreads, and BookBub, por favor.
Question for readers: I have two.
1) What is your favorite time period for romances?
2) What is your favorite trope (enemies to lovers, marriage of convenience, second-chance romance)?
A fifth-generation Texan, Paula Peckham spent two decades teaching math. She divides her time between her home in Texas and Rio Bravo, Mexico.
Her debut novel, Protected, Book 1 in the San Antonio series, was published by Elk Lake Publishing, Inc. in April 2022. It finaled in ACFW’s Genesis contest and won the gold medal in the 2022 Global Book Awards. Book 2, A Father’s Gift, finished third in the 2023 Selah contest. She also self-published two Christmas anthologies in 2021.