November is rushing by faster than a flock of geese winging their way south. Before we know it, we’ll be putting our Thanksgiving turkeys in the oven and decking our halls with Christmas decorations. We are rapidly moving into the time of year when children’s eyes light up with the anticipation of Christmas morning and our hearts fill with yuletide joy.
But what if we carry so much sadness in our heart that we have no room for joy? How do we muddle through the season of gratitude and giving when our sorrow cuts so deep that our very next breath seems insurmountable?
When I was invited into a multi-author Christmas project, we agreed each author would choose a different generation of characters. I chose a widow and a widower because I have experienced the difficulty of celebrating the holidays after losing my spouse.
Cathy Fischer, my main character in my Christmas novella, Cathy’s Christmas Confession, has traveled through that dark place. She notices a male acquaintance from church, David Martin, withdrawing from his community as he struggles with grief the first Christmas season after the loss of his wife. When she reaches out to help David find the joy in Christmas, her community helps her define her identity in Christ and in the eyes of those who love and admire her.
Together, Cathy and David discover hurting people where they least expect to find them and learn that many people know about Jesus, but don’t really know Him.
The plot and characters in Cathy’s Christmas Confession are purely fictional, but truth weaves its way into the tale through my experiences as a volunteer at my local church. The Chrismons described in the story are real and have decorated our sanctuary Christmas tree for decades.
Many of us enter the holidays with heavy and hurting hearts due to loss, whether through death of a loved one, a health issue, damage to property, or hardship of a different nature. Here are a few helpful tips to aid in navigating those difficult times:
1) Don’t isolate – surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, church family.
2) Don’t be hard on yourself – Don’t force yourself to decorate, send cards, prepare meals, or engage in other tasks if you don’t have the energy to carry them out. If an event is too emotionally overwhelming, don’t feel bad about declining the invitation.
3) Don’t deny your feelings – Acknowledge your grief with tears, anger, memories. Don’t feel guilty when you experience joy or happiness in your loved one’s absence.
4) Take care of yourself – daily routines such as personal hygiene, clean clothing, adequate dietary intake, and abstinence from alcohol or drug use are important to maintaining a positive mood and outlook on your future.
5) Seek God – read your Bible, pray, attend church services, and remember that God sees every moment of the pain you are suffering.
6) Reach out to others – Look for ways to bring a ray of sunshine to the lives of others who may be walking through a dark season.
Are you carrying a hurting heart into this holiday season?
Cathy’s Christmas Confession explores the deep emotions elicited by the struggle of grieving the loss of a spouse over the holidays and how grasping a caring hand and seeking God can help hurting hearts heal.
Cathy’ Christmas Confession is available in print, Kindle format, and on KU at amazon.com.
Link: https://tinyurl.com/mr26ekaj
Patti Shene Gonzales enjoyed a thirty-year career as a psychiatric nurse and has always harbored a desire to write. She hosts Step Into the Light, a bi-monthly interview style podcast, where guests share their journey out of darkness or ways they lead others out of a dark season. She hosts published and unpublished writers on her two blogs, Patti’s Porch and The Over 50 Writer, found at pattishene.com. Patti enjoys reading, writing, critiquing, watching old TV westerns, and spending time with family and friends.
Patti was born in New York but has made her home in Southeastern Colorado for the past fifty years. She is one of the original founders of the Colorado Springs chapter of ACFW. Her mission is to bless readers and listeners and glorify God with her words.
Cathy’s Christmas Confession is her first full length published work.